Haters

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Go to my myspace blog for important info on haters.  And Kat Williams.  Thank you for your support.

In a cave

Friday, December 28, 2007

Cable TV has lied to me again.  There are no Goonies, pirate ships, treasure, Fratellis, octopuses, strong handicapped guys or water slides in here.  I could have gone to any water park in the country instead and got at least four of the seven.  Stupid HBO.  If it was not for that Larry David, I would cancel that channel entirely.  The older brother in Goonies was named Brand Walsh, forshadowing in my opinion, another fictional character later named Brandon Walsh that seemed like he would ride a girls bike also.  I have to go, I am pretty sure that Corey Feldman stole my wallet.

Back to work

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Enough with the holidays, I am back on the job.  Today I traveled to a bridge that bums live under.  I have never warmed my paws by a fire before, let alone a fire in a barrel.  I wonder why they put it in a barrel?  I also have had some wine in my day but nothing like this.  If Jeff ever buys me the piano I want the first song I write is going to be about Nighttrain.  That is if I remember any of this.  I am learning alot.  Whenever I am cold from now on I can just put newspaper in my pants.  Wait, I do not generally wear pants.  Stupid Nighttrain.  I should do a cheap wine week.  Here I come Wild Irish Rose.

I think this stupid Christmas horn is broken.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Santa never showed up.  I guess he is a sissy.  If my travels take me north I may show up at his place and eat his cookies.  What exactly does he have to do with Jesus anyway.  From now on everyone celebrating Christmas for the reason it is Christmas can call it Christmas.  Everyone else can say “merry day off work day”.  I do not care which group you are in.  It just will help me determine which jokes are appropriate to tell you. 

If I see anyone kissing Santa Clause they will reget it.

Monday, December 24, 2007

I have turned my couch into an impenetrable fortress and armed it to the teeth.  For extra protection I have put the television on the oxygen channel.  That should make anyone think twice about coming in here.  Now we play the waiting game.  I sit here and pretend I am asleep.  When I hear someone coming in guess what?  I am not asleep.  Game over Santa.   Jeff said I need to work on my pretend sleeping.  I think it looks pretty realistic.

I AM TWO I AM TWO I AM TWO

Sunday, December 23, 2007

I have been getting presents all morning.  This one seems to be my favorite.  I am two.  I am not sure what it is but it seems to respond well to chewing.  Birthdays are not that big of a deal.  There are like at least twenty or more people born on this same day also.  They are nice people like Corey Haim.  I saw him in License to Drive and The Lost Boys.   He seems like the Corey that would be less likely to steal my wallet from those movies.  I am two.  There are also jerks born on this day.  Do not even get me started on that hump Eddie Vedder.  It also is almost the same birthday as Jesus.  I did not watch any of his movies.  It is hard to enjoy my birthday completely with the thought of this Santa and his home invasion tactics planned for tomorrow night.  If you are reading this fat man I warn you your threats are not taken lightly.  And in conclusion, I am two.

Taco Week Recap

Saturday, December 22, 2007

The results are this:

Taco del Mar is good.  Everywhere else is okay or stupid.  Del Taco has french fries and I think that is weird.  A week with a theme was hard work.  I am not used to doing something every day.  I have another idea for a theme week.  I want to throw a rock at a cat from all the places that are mentioned in the book Cat in the Hat.  That may not be for a while, when the budget for my site increases. I will have to look this up but I believe that Foxes are somewhat expensive.  After all that Mexican food(okay, most of it was kind of like Mexican food) I am going to treat myself to something a little better.  I hope the hot dog cart in front of the DMV is not taking the weekend off for the holiday.

Taco Week-We were busy and forgot to eat a taco today.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

So here is picture of me being cute instead.  It is the last resort if the mupsidegrowl does not scare away my enemies.  It still protects the top of my head while freeing up my legs for kicking.  It does not have a name because no one who has seen it in person has lived to tell the tale.  I will be offering martial arts lessons in the spring if anyone wants to sign up.

Taco Week - Taco Bell

Thursday, December 20, 2007

I was going to eat here.  I ordered the food.  Then I saw this.  I am firmly against straws and everything they stand for.  So i just gave away the Taco Stupid Jerk Straw Lover Bell food and went to Taco del Mar instead.  It was delicious.  I was so worked up I thought I may not even be able to watch a Danny DeVeto movie.  Then I got home and Relative Strangers was on Comedy Central.  I feel much better now.  It is like Danny DeVeto is looking out for me somehow.  I should warn him that Santa guy may try to break in to his house.

Taco Week - Some burros

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Yeah sure.  The donkey in the picture looks like he is high.  I can not support such an establishment.  Also I do not eat anywhere with such a big truck.  Tacos are small and I worry about the quality control in a situation where they are making a truckload of tacos at once.  I do not even want an explanation for why the b is not capitalized.  Probably something to do with the wasted donkey.  I did go to Taco del Mar instead and had a wonderful meal.  I did not watch any Danny DeVeto movies.  Instead I watched him drunk on The View on youtube at the suggestion of a friend.  After that clip I watched some other clips of The View on there.  I had never seen The View before.  That Elizabeth is cute and little.  I can not believe they let that giant abrasive idiot be rude to her.  I am cute and little also.  This worries me.  If there are any congressmen or women reading this please pass legislation banning the big mean lady from being near anything cute.  Thank you for your support.

Extra Post Unrelated to Taco Week

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Kim sent me a Christmas package a few days ago.  I did not open it because I am a good dog and it was not Christmas.  She called today and told me to open it.  Among the presents was a Christmas outfit.  I am not very big on clothes but the pants were kind of rad.  In my favorite color, shiny.  The above photo is me testing them to make sure they do not restrict me in any way during a mupsidegrowl.  They pass the test.  Good pants.  I will wear these in my showdown with Santa if he tries to come into my house unannounced.

Taco Week - Not to Rubio's

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

This place puts green stuff on the steak and white stuff on the chicken.  I only like red stuff added to my Tacos.  There was no illusion of me eating here this week, I just like to drive past it and give them the finger on my way to Del Taco.  The photo is from just after I gave them the finger in case any kids are looking.  I do not want to be responseblie for the corruption of any children.  That is what the breakdown of the family structure is for.  Darn Liberals.  Today Del Taco has three for $1.09.  Six or nine?  I am bad at decisions so i got three and three chicken tacos also.  Tonights Danny DeVeto movie for Taco and Danny Deveto movie week is Captain Ron.  I know Danny Deveto is not in it but it is a really good movie.  I hope they redo the effects someday like in Star Wars.  I need to see this movie again but with Martin Short in the Three Amigos costume the whole time.  Think about how much funnier the shower scene would be if he was wearing a giant sombrerro with sequins all over it.  The movie would be at least six times as funny.  How do movie producers not think of things like this.  They just do not have the consumer in mind.  Burn Hollywood Burn.

Taco Week - El Pollo Loco

Monday, December 17, 2007

Cow 1 says to Cow 2-”what do you think of this mad cow disease?”

Cow 2 replies-”I do not really care, I am a helicopter.”

This name makes me uncomfortable, I am going to go to Taco del Mar and get a burrito instead.  All day I planned on watching Throw Mama From the Train, but because changing your mind is fun I am going to watch Romancing the Stone instead for Danny DeVeto movie week.  If I did not have to work tomorrow I would watch Jewel of the Nile also.  But since I am updating my blog every day this holiday/taco season I have to get to bed early.  The guy with the umbrella is the jewel, haha i ruined it for you.  I do not think it matters though.  No one has really wanted to see it but been too busy since 1895.  Unless you are a jerk.

Taco Week - Jack in the Box

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Rhonda told us to try these.  She said Tom likes them.  So we gave it a shot.  First off, Jack in the box  defines taco more loosely than I find acceptable.  These things are weird.  I am no taco expert but this is the first time i have seen grease completely saturate the shell.  The large quantity of grease did make the shell very pliable so it was easy to get hot sauce in there with out it cracking.  They are two for one dollar.  We bought eight.  I had to lay down after the third and Jeff had a minor heart attack between the fifth and sixth.  We figured we should just cut our losses and threw away number seven and eight.  Then we watched Deck the Halls.  I do not agree with his politics but Danny DeVeto makes a funny movie.  I am thinking about making taco week into taco and Danny DeVeto movie week.

Taco Week - Taco Del Mar

Saturday, December 15, 2007

It is Taco week here at the PS TBOD.  I love anything that I can put hot sauce on.  I like meat and cheese.  I can put up with the lettuce.  Then the put it in a container that I can eat.

This may be natures perfect food.  Today Jeff and I shared three.  One chicken, one shredded beef and one steak.  One thing I have to say  about Taco Del Mar is that the hot sauce is actually hot.  And you can get as much as you want because they have a scoop and some cups in the people area. 

Mt. Rushmore

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Our pets heads are falling off?  This is kind of weird.  Rrrr.  I think they should mark that trail better. 

Happy Birthday Linda

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

No travel today, I stayed home and baked this cake.  I also decorated it myself.  I would not expect any travel tomorrow as I may eat this whole cake.  I am just a dog and I am only almost two so I am not sure how to ship this to where Linda lives.  And I would not want it to go to waste.  Linda is Jeff’s Mom.  She visited me last year.  This year I do not live in an ideal vacation spot so she will have to just mail me some treats.  I am not sure how old she is, but she has shipped things in the past so she has to be older than two.  Anyway, Happy Birthday Linda, stay away from ladders.

I am having a party.

Saturday, December 3, 2007

Jeff is going to see Social Distortion play tonight.  I have plans also.  As soon as he leaves I am playing drinking games.  The stupid alligator always argues about the rules and I do not think that he knows them.  The shark smokes inside even when I tell him that is against the rules.  When the octopus gets some rum in him he is all hands.  They are all good guys though because I bite them and shake my head really fast and they do not seem to mind.  I am smarter than them so I should be president all night.  After we play a few rounds I am going to try to talk everyone in to either going to the bar next door or looking for cats to get in a fight with.

Under the Sea

Thursday, December 6, 2007

I really like the edge of the ocean but the inside makes me grumpy.  Coral makes me itchy.  Those jerks from The Little Mermaid are full of crap.  The salt water does not really bother my eyes but I am keeping them closed because there are a lot of fish here and I do not see a designated area for them to go to the bathroom.

The Temple of Doom

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

No time for love Dr. Jones?

This movie always makes Jeff and I argue over which one of us is the other’s sidekick.  He argues that i could not wear the hat.  Damn these giant ears.

Anyway, I went to the real Temple of Doom for research so I could make a stronger case for myself.  I do not care for this place.  I would eat all the weird food though.

Stayed Home

Monday, December 3, 2007

I did not go anywhere.  I did add another move to my fighting strategy.  It starts with the classic mupsidedown then I growl.  It is the mupsidegrowl.  It is designed to scare jerks while protecting the top of my head from being injured.  I can see no flaw in this technique.  See new photo album for more.

R.I.P. Evel

Friday, November 30, 2007

First Dee Dee Ramone, now Evel Knievel.  Soon there will be no heroes left.  Screw these new daredevils with their little plastic bikes and 3 feet of shock travel.  The man did it on a Harley with the stars and bars on his leathers and a cape.   You try to pull off a cape.  Thats not rain outside, God is crying.  Jeff and i are getting drunk and jumping one of his skateboards over his motorcycle.

Al Patti's

Friday, November 30, 2007

I liked the Flaming Moe’s so much i decided to go to another bar.  This time the best bar ever, Al Patti’s.  They serve Iron City Beer here. It is delicious.  You all should go there and have one.  I am a big fan of steak.  They have a steak night.  The steak night is delicious.  I am pretty sure God invented Al Patti’s steak night to make up for the fact that there is a such thing as a Wolfendales.  Now I am hungry.

Flaming Moe's

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I am thirsty.  Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away?  I am going to cut in line with Joe Stains.

Daytona Beach

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

This might be my favorite beach ever.  They even make it easy to find the beach.  But if you can not locate the ocean, I hope you took a bus here jerk.

The Circus

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Elephants smell bad.  Clowns are not funny.  I do not get it.

Niagra Falls

Friday, November 23, 2007

Their dollars are coins here.  Strike one.  It is cold.  Strike two.  You get arrested if you ride a barrel over the falls.  So much for Canada. 

Grocery Store

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Holy Crap.

A little bit of what makes the U.S. great right here.  I am trying all of them.  Then when I am older- Jello Shots.  Now where was that dog food aisle.

Space

Sunday, November 18, 2007

I was in space today.  It is cold and dark and scary and cold.  I do not know how in the hell Lance Armstrong does this in spandex.  Also no Ewoks.  I think they would make a good pet for me.  I wonder how far Graceland is from here?

Anarctica

Friday, November 16, 2007

This is stupid.  I like penguins.  Not good pets though, we would have to leave the AC on all the time. 

I am not wearing this jacket to Graceland.

Las Vegas, NV

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Holy crap.  To heck with the strip, Downtown is better.  My only complaint is that they really do undervalue the Hot Dog here.

I am going to Graceland next time.

Liberty Bell, Philladelphia, PA

Friday, November 9, 2007

I was kind of named after this thing.   I like the idea.  They made it.  They broke it.  They made it Better.  They broke it again.  They made it even better.  They broke it.  They said “hell with it then, leave it broken.”  There is a message in there somewhere.  I guess sometimes even if it is broke, you don’t have to fix it.

This one does not look as comfortable as the one I am used to.

Off to Graceland.

Atlantic City, NJ

Sunday, November 4, 2007

The Tropicana, a dirty beach and a dirty ocean.  The only thing that could make me like this town more is if the next National Lampoons Vacation movie was about Clark Griswold and Nick Papageorgio hanging out here.  I would like to see them mostly sit on benches with senior citizens and feed seagulls bread crumbs.  If they could do it next to a dog park that would be awesome. 

I am going to Graceland next.

The Statue of Liberty

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Today I was at the Statue of Liberty.  I was slightly disappointed at first because I am Liberty and this statue is not of me.  It was impressive though, I like it.  I can not believe that France had something to do with this.  Stupid France.

Next week, Graceland.

France

The Princess Sparkle Travel Blog of Death

France

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Today I was in France.  I do not really care for France.

Wine<Rum

Paris, France<Paris Hilton

Texas is two and one half times the size of France.

Stupid France.

At least next week I am going to Graceland.