The bed is high.

Monday, November 30, 2009

If I had a nickel for every time I wished I could get on the bed by myself I would have enough money to buy a set of steps made out of diamonds.

Anime is GAY.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I am thankful for fish.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Today I made a hat out of construction paper and tried to find an indian to bite.  There were none around so I just growled at the guy in the 7-11 of indeterminate origin.  Then I ate some fish and watched Return of the Jedi.  I could do without Thanksgiving.

Breakfast Bear.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Today Kim asked what I wanted for my approaching christmas.  I consulted Jeff and we came up with that she should dress up in a bear costume and call herself breakfast bear and bring me breakfast in bed.  She said maybe.  I am assuming that she did not realize I did not mean just on christmas.  I meant forever.  Is there some kind of christmas loophole that I can get to trap her as breakfast bear?

Bums

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Today we saw a bum.  He asked Jeff for change.  Jeff said sorry buddy but I have not had any change for like seven years.  I am not sure if the guy knew what he meant.  Since everywhere takes a check card we rarely have much if any cash on us.  It must be hard to be a bum in this day and age.  I bet the first one with a hand held credit card machine will either make a mint or be arrested.  Either way he will have a place to sleep so good for him. 

Hot tomatoes

Friday, November 20, 2009

On my sandwich today there are some tomatoes.  one half had red, the other half had yellow like some pepperoncini like color.  I thought wonderful, hot tomatoes.  I was wrong, they just were not ripe yet.  But the point here is with all the nerds and scientists in the world why do we not have hot tomatoes already?  I am going to have trouble sleeping tonight.

This is only a few miles down the road from me. Picture unrelated.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

http://www2.tbo.com/content/2009/nov/16/man-says-30-foot-monster-lurking-canals-madeira-be/news-metro/

Great, now I have to worry about monsters.  Monsters seen by a really old man who must have great vision and would never be lonely and make something up for attention or just be nuts and actually think he sees monsters.  And he has video tape of them.  But we do not get to see the tape?  I have seen that crappy bigfoot footage 100 times here and there and I am only 3.  But there is a new monster and the footage is not even linked on the news site.  And the footage has to be quality, because 78 year old men are always on the cutting edge of technology and buy new camcorders regularly.  In fact the camcorder industry spends the lions share of their advertising budget targeting other age groups because they know they have the 75+ men locked up.  I am almost 4.

Teenagers.

Monday, November 16, 2009

I have always liked a good teen story.  Cant Hardly Wait is one of my favorites.  The Breakfast Club was awesome.  I also do not mind Pretty in Pink and kind of like 16 candles.  Mean Girls and 90210 were wonderful.  I still like the teen stories but now when I watch them the teens are vampires.  Like Twilight and the Vampire Diaries.  I watched some episodes of the story V and it has me worried if the future of teen shows is in teen aliens.  I sure hope not because I bet the bird 30 dollars that the future would be teen robot shows. 

The neighbor dog is a jerk.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

This is my favorite palm tree.  This dog is not helping,  After this it tried to bite my rose bush.  Ha Ha.

I hate winter.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

In other news, I am pretty sure that car alarms have never stopped the stealing of a car.  If your car is worth enough that someone would steal it, they know how to defeat the alarm.  If you have an alarm and your car has not been stolen it is not because of the alarm, it is because your car is not wanted by the thief.  All your annoying alarm really does is not get you invited to the neighbors house when they barbecue. 

Storms

11/11/09

I do not like Dr. Drew’s new show.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

People are not designed to do lots of drugs.  His first story was okay.  People are designed to have sex.  This show is not okay.  The intro says that sex addiction is as dangerous as drugs and alcohol.  Lie.  I think Dr. Drew is addicted to saying people are addicted to things.  I think he should teach these people some time management so they can do it and get some other stuff done and stop pretending everything is an addiction that needs treatment.  But I guess that would not get good ratings and make Drew tons of money. 

I do not like Eminem

Monday, November 9, 2009

Even more I do not like the people I see listening to Eminem.  I have felt this way for a looooooong time but today I make it official.  I hereby decree that If you like Eminem I have no time for you. Picture unrelated.

Monday, November 9, 2009

I like treats

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Stupid Shark

I like packages.

Friday, November 6, 2009

It is a shame they come with stuff in them so you have to empty them before you cut the outside into ninja throwing stars and throw them at the cat and Kim.  It is odd that the Ups and Fedex and mail man make me so mad when they are usually the people who bring me these packages.

I like this snake

Thursday, November 5, 2009

I am not friends with him but he likes to lay in my driveway.  If I was a snake I would not have shoulders so my harness would fall off when we went for a walk.  It must be hard for snakes to go for walks.  The upside to being a snake is that lots of people would have tattoos of me.  That and it would be easier to scare jerks and ladies.  But I think I would miss my ears.  I am glad I am not a snake.

I like tower defense games.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I used to not like the ipod touch so much for games.  I played tap defense for a while on the but still played my ds sometimes.  Then I got Fieldrunners and did not plat anything for it for a while.  Now I just got Geodefense Storm and i am not sure that I even know where my ds is.  Geodefense is more tricky than the other two.  I am going to go try to punch those jerks right now.

I like the sun.

Monday, November 2, 2009

There should be more sun.  Now because of some dumb time change it is dark too early.

Paranormal Activity?

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Shot for 15,000?  Sometimes Jeff pretends his hand is a monster and makes growling noises and I fight it.  If we video taped that I would not want anyone to have to pay 8 bucks to see it.  There should be a sliding scale.  It a 100 million movie costs 8 dollars then theaters should be charging .0012 cents to see Paranormal Activity by my calculations.  And I am such a nice dog that if they stop trying to make me watch commercials before the thing I am paying for I will round up a little and pay a penny.  Maybe not a good penny, maybe one of those screwed up greenish corroded ones that I always get for change and wish it had not touched my paw.