My Lost theory

Friday, February 29, 2008

I watched the television program Lost last night and it was a good episode.  I figured out what is wrong with all the weird stuff they have happen to them.  Today as I was getting up I saw a monster moving the bushes outside my new house.  It is also leap year.  I can put two and two together.  I am two.  It is leap year on Lost.  When it is not leap year anymore everything will be back to normal on Lost and it will be NYPD Blue again.  The photo above has nothing to do with Lost.  It is just a good example of a monster.  And it is funny.

I hope her husband cheats on her another hundred times.

Dysentery makes me uncomfortable

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Stupid trail.  At least the cat has a broken leg. 

new Wii

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Linda sent us a Wii.  We have not played with it much yet.  Jeff took the fitness test on the disk that comes with it and it tells us he is fourty-seven.  I was upset about this discrepancy so I chewed on the remote.  This week we are moving into a bigger place.  We are staying in the same neighborhood so hopefully Jeff will have enough time to build me a Wii remote harness so I can take the fitness test.  If it does not say I am two we will know the results are not accurate.

A monumental day for the food industry.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Today we obtained some Bumpy Jelly Beans made by Nerds candy.  This was the first time I have ever declined to eat something.  I almost did not eat kiwi one time but after looking at the kiwi then Jeff then the kiwi then Jeff then the kiwi then Jeff then the kiwi then Jeff then the kiwi then Jeff then the kiwi then Jeff then the kiwi then Jeff then the kiwi then Jeff then the kiwi then Jeff then the kiwi then Jeff then the kiwi then Jeff, I finally ate it.  This was different.  As you can see from the picture above they smelled okay.

In this photo you can see me testing this unusual item

And the end result.  Please remove this item from my green blanket.

Alf does not like cats either

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

This past week was the first time I had to live with a cat in a really long time.  I need something to help fight the cat.  As my attempts to catch a chupacabra have been unsuccessful, I am now focusing on a more realistic goal.  Alf.  Alf eats cats.  If I catch an Alf and make it live in my house I will be able to rid myself of the cat.  I am much too nice to really do anything mean to the cat.  That is where Alf comes in.  I do not care if Alf eats the cat or the cat runs away so Alf does not eat it.  Either way, no cat.  See the photo above.  It is an artist’s rendition of me in a burglars mask studying Alfs habits.  If anyone has it, please send me Alf’s address so we can make this dream a reality.  Thank you for your support.

Dave Letterman is doing it wrong.

http://www.youtube.com/user/sparkleisaid#p/a/u/2/8wvTLhXxw-8

In the spirit of the Christmas season I am helping Dave Letterman today.  First is how he did it, Second is how I made it better. 

My new logo supports Big Brother’s James

Monday, March 17, 2008

James got kicked out of the house and then let back in and then won head of household on Big Brother.  I have updated my logo in support of James.  I hope him and Chelsea get first and second place.  I hope Adam comes in third place because that means he will make weird faces for as long as possible.  I think since Jonathan had to leave Survivor because they were worried that his leg would get infected, he should be allowed to be on big brother for the rest of the time.  I do not care that that does not make sense.  With all this time travel on Lost they will figure out a way to make it happen soon.  I better start saving the episodes on the Tivo just in case they go back in time and add Jonathan and I have already missed it.  Then I would watch them again and Jonathan would be there?  I need 5 naps.

Lou Wins Photo Contest

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Lou has always been a brilliant man.  But this was a contest he was especially prepared for.  You see, Lou was born to a family who loved the Beach Boys on the 50’s in Northern Ireland.  They quickly sold him into slavery to buy more Beach Boys records.  I can hardly blame them.  If the cat was worth anything you better believe we would be hearing the soothing sounds of Mike Love a lot more around here.  Lou ended up spending most of his young life doing back-breaking labor in the cookie mines of Brazil.  Lou used his smarts to charm the mine owners daughter, married into the family then killed them all.  This chain of events left him the sole owner of the cookie mines.  He turned them into a happy place modeled after his own dreams.  This means that everything is made of rainbows, beer is free and every dartboard has to, by law, have a picture of Brian Wilson on it.  Lou still goes into those mines to this day and hones his cookie finding skills.  That is why it is no surprise he won this  contest.  

Lou asked me to mention he offers cookie finding classes for one dollar a week.  I can not endorse this program.  The friends I have that have tried it say he just installs video cameras in your bathroom, takes your dollars and you never hear from him again.  Your milage may vary, contact him at  http://www.myspace.com/louearly  if interested.

Thanks for playing everyone, and Lou since you requested such a large size, there may be some delay in the prize, but rest assured you will get it. 

Creamy Italian Dressing part 2

Friday, February 15, 2008

This is why, for today at least, I will put up with this Kim woman stealing some of my attention. 

home

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I drove about 2,200 miles in the last 2 days.  Jeff slept most of the time.  We only stopped to pee and get gas and to sleep and buy a bunch of fireworks.  The other 17 hours of the day we drove.  We arrived last night.  Kim and the cat were surprised to see us.  Especially the cat.  I am tired, but we still watched the sunset today.  Now that we are home I may not need to travel.  I am thinking about changing this page to  “The Princess Sparkle Stays Home Blog of Death.”  More later.

My own personal El Guapo

Thursday, February 7, 2008

A wiser man than me once said:

In a way all of us have an El Guapo to face some day.  For some shyness might be their El Guapo for others a lack of education might be there El Guapo.  For us El Guapo is a big dangerous guy that wants to kill us  

But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santo Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo who also happens to be the actual El Guapo.

-Lucky Day

My El Guapo is the desert.  I have found strength in the Three Amigo’s story and am finally ready to defeat my own personal El Guapo, the desert.  I am going to eat so many crab legs it would make your fingers hurt.  The defeat will happen over the next week or so.  It may involve lots of hours on Jeff’s lap,  listening to numerous podcasts and another trip across this great nation of ours.  I am going to give the finger to every cow I pass.  I will be away from my computer for a time.  Talk to you later jerks.

Liberty Vs. Art Recap

Monday, February 4, 2008

I did not like much art.  I may just be grumpy because I miss rain, running beside a skateboard, sunsets over the gulf, big big sweaty boobs and thighs on the beach, and the cat.  I will look at art again if I ever get home and see if it makes a difference. 

Liberty vs. the Super Bowl

Sunday, February 3, 2008

I am estimating that table to be about fifteen feet long.  It seems to be a long board on sawhorses.  It is comforting to see that sawhorses have stood the test of time.  How do you transport a board fifteen feet long, and how do you store it when you do not have all these people over?  I think a handful of smaller tables would be more practical.  Maybe any religious scholars could chime in here, there may have been a reason for the one long table.  Also 13 people at a fifteen foot table?  Even if they sat on both sides I do not think that is enough room for them to eat comfortably.  Maybe they have a kids table set up off to the side and some of them just came over here for the picture.  The one guy looks kind of like that Mona Lisa.  Jeff just read this over my shoulder and told me to stop criticizing Jesus' table.   On a side note go to 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8pxMXiYaNk

where a pre-mtv Andy Milonakis perfecty mirrors my feeling on the Super Bowl

Liberty vs. Art 5

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Now this is art.  Dogs after my own heart, the painting the chose behind them is the ocean.  I think that may be the key to this painting.  Another painting in the background.  It makes me want a painting because these dogs have a painting.  I want someone to paint a picture of me playing Wii with this painting of dogs playing poker in the background with the painting of the ocean in that background.  And then someone else would want a painting of them with my painting in the background and so on, and so on, and so on.  

And that my friends is the definition of infinity.