Happy New Year

Hipstamatic Loftus Lens

I got this new lens a while ago and used it on some pictures lately.  It is slow, but puts a blur around the edge of the photos that looks cool sometimes.  It says in the pack that it is for food so I just found the most interesting food I could and took some pics.  The green one is not interesting, it is just there for comparison.  The red one though, that is some interesting food.

Apparently Eye Doctors Do Not Know Backwards 2s.

Soooooo, I went to the eye doctor. The lady had me reading the chart things that lit up on the wall. I could not really make out one of the things so I said it looked like a backwards 2. The doctor started to laugh out loud at me. She asked why I did not say it looked like a 5. I said, "Didnt you go to school for this? You tell me." She continued to laugh to herself and we finished the eye doctoring and now I have new glasses for when I spend long times on the computer. Weird huh?

Picture somewhat related, It is blurry, but not a backwards 2.

Princess Sparkle Watches Sunsets

I am bored, Can it be New Years Eve Now?

It Is Christmas.

That is all.

Princess Sparkle Christmas Preview

This is the year Santa.  My teeth are sharper than ever, I have been working out.  I will be waiting.

Princess Sparkle Is 6, I SAID!!!

Princess Sparkle Is 6!!!

six six six six six six six, six.

DRUNK SCIENTIST

I do not understand this joke.

Princess Sparkle Vs. Jokes

Birds hate Princess Sparkle's Jokes

F EVERYTHING

All my thinking about jumping in elevators has led me to invent DARTH ELEVATOR.

Darth Elevator can take me up buildings and pull the gun out of Han Solo's hand.  

We are all in big trouble.

Lies!!!

LIES LIES LIES

Mother Hen my ass.  The pictures in the window clearly show a guy, a lady and 2 cats.  No hen.  Either this window is lying or that license plate is lying.  

Ohhhhhhh, look at me, I'm this stupid flower...

I grow in a bush in the neighbors yard and have a tube coming out of me.  And if thats not enough the tube has dots on the stupid end.  And because that is not enough there are smaller dots on the middle of my stupid tube.  Annnnnnnnnnnd I think all the dots are fuzzy.  WTF.

Just kidding, I like flowers.  Especially hibiscus.  

reason 6,542 why our economy has problems

These came in the mail today.  In this house lives a guy and a chihuahua.

I do want to be unstoppable, and I do like to go surfing but I really do not see how these will help us achieve either of those things.  Maybe I am using them wrong.  Or maybe the marketing geniuses at Platex Sport Tampon Company should only send them to ladies.  And then they could use all the money they save to build elevators for the homeless or build a machine that lets dogs speak english or carve their logo on the moon with giant lasers.  Or outlaw golf.

I like to jump in elevators.

I like almost everything about elevatoring.  Although I do it both ways, going up and down, I like to jump when its going down better because then you get extra time in the air.  On the way up is not as fun but you can pretend that some jerk made gravity extra in that box.  I even like to jump in a stopped elevator better than just jumping on the regular non-elevator ground.  In the elevator your jump might be the straw that breaks the elevator's wires and that makes it 20% more exciting on average.   

Elevators.

Picture Unrelated.

I like showers and sunsets and wind

Same night about 15 mins apart.  

Cops are Wieners.

Ohhhhh, look at me, I have weeds growing in my engine of my car with no hood that all you taxpayers bought.  

SleepyTimeSparkle

Pajamas, Check

Pillow, Check

Now time for the dreaming...

Subtitles

I watched the first movie I ever watched with subtitles the other day.  Okay, the second movie I ever watched with subtitles, but the first one was with a cute girl so that does not count.  So this time I watched Trollhunter on Netflix because Netflix suggested it just for me.  So I read the description and it sounds like a low budget foreign horror movie.  I can get behind that.  So I watch and it starts in with the subtitles and of course I am about to turn it of but somehow it caught me and I sat through the whole thing.  The movie was okay, and the first movie I have watched in 100 years where I was not playing with my phone or laptop while it was on.  It was kind of dumb but entertaining and the effects were better than I would have expected but the words on the bottom sucks.  This would have been a 100 times better movie if they dubbed it into english.  Even if the mouths did not match the words, it would be better than reading instead of looking at the scenes and characters.  The movie guys should be against subtitling, because I can not be impressed by the subtleties of their acting, and the selection of camera angles, and the scenery they chose.  #OCCUPY SUBTITLES.  Anyway, it is an okay movie, you could watch it if you have some time to kill.

This is what happens when Princess Sparkle Attacks

Some Shower

Princess Sparkle is thankful she is a riot.

In her and Jeff's opinions at least.

Not in this birds opinion.

Princess Sparkle Vs. Thanksgiving

Princess Sparkle's Thanksgiving Comic #2

I guess birds are not the only things that hate Princess Sparkles jokes.  This Bear needs to lighten up.

Princess Sparkle Vs. the munchies and fish.

Princess Sparkle's 1000th Comic, I wonder why birds have no sense of humor.

Get it?

Today I realized I have been tricked.

First, and this has nothing to do with the trick is an adorable picture of me.

Now the trick.

I see this at the grocery store while I am shopping for soap because I regularly clean myself.

Axe is not a favorite brand of mine but it has a cool silver bottle and says there is quartz AND zinc in there.  As soon as I saw this I realized that not only did I not know of quartz and zinc's cleaning properties, I have been on this earth for sooooo many years and I have no idea what quartz or zinc smells like.  So I got it.  It seems to clean okay, and it smells really weird.  Then after how many days it takes to use this much soap I looked at the bottle...

The bottle is clear?!?

I did not see this coming.  Imagine my surprise for about 5-7 seconds.  Oh, well I am going to have to take this information back to the lab.  But this will definitely lessen my trust for the axe brand in future grocery stores.  

After this bottle is done I think I am going to be leaving the quartz to the cheap watches and the zinc to being like 1% of nickels or whatever the hell zinc is supposed to be for.

This birds porridge was just right.

I do not know what porridge is.  I know what birds are though, so this post is at least half right.

I feel like porridge can not be good or I would have seen it in real life by now.  

This birds porridge was too cold.

Maybe because it is winter.  I do not know how, unless they were from different batches that all this porridge varies so much in temperature.

This birds porridge was too hot.

It would suck to have to fly everywhere.  Yeah sure you could go up real high and avoid jerks and see some cool views, but go to the beach an a really windy day and watch some birds.  Now tell me you would want to deal with that.  

This is a bird doing a bird thing.

Why then would a magic bird fall off of a post, drunk or not?  Who knows, why is this sentence up here when it should be at the very bottom.

I like him.

Now I am thinking about if you did not know that birds landed this way you might think that this bird is drunk and falling off this post.  But then if he could not stand on this post how would he have gotten all the way up there? 

My guess?

This is a magic bird.  

Pickles?!?

Seriously world.  I like pickles.  I buy a jar of pickles.  I get 1/3 to 1/2 half way done over a few days and then I think about pickles.  Someone picks cucumbers before they are ready and then puts them in sour water for a while and then sells then for $3 a jar as something other than cucumbers.  And this is accepted by everyone that I know.  I wish I could by a jar of little regular cucumbers.  I would quarter them and then put a little salt on there and have a snack.  

This making cucumbers into pickles with sour water has inspired me.  I am going to pee on Jeff's car every day for a month then put it on Craigslist for sale as a cowhelicopter.  I hope most of the responses I get are from trannies.  

Ooops in my head I posted it in the wrong section and hoped for the wrong thing.  In my head I moved it to the for sale section and now I hope for more appropriate responses. 

Some how I just noticed that if I control-click on all this text highlighted there is an option to make paragraphs the wrong direction.

Why the hell would anyone use this ?

Picture Unrelated

It is getting cold again.

I have to wear sweatshirts on my walks.  That is bad.
There are less big sweaty tourists at the beach.  That is good.
It is almost time for Jeff to start arguing with himself about if this is the year he starts wearing socks again.  That would be bad.
I like to call the heater R2-D2, so that is good.  I tried to ask Siri if she would respond to R2-D2 instead of Siri.  Siri did not understand as usual.  So I guess as long as Jeff does not start wearing socks again winter is okay because the heater is the only thing that will answer to R2-D2.  As soon as the folks at Apple program Siri to let users change its name then I am going to have to cancel winter.

These guys make me laugh.

Cowboy Boots.

I was just listening to Frank Turner, because that is only kind of gay, and in my favorite song on that record he says a thing about cowboy boots.  I have thought of this many times in the past.  I kind of want to get a pair of cowboy boots.  I do not know when I would ever wear them, all I do anymore is sit in my house and write code, hang out on the beach, ride bmx, and go skateboarding.  None of these seem like cowboy boot activities.  Maybe I should get a pair because someday there will be occasion to wear them.  Maybe not.  If I get a set it will more likely be for the same reason I always took things like Nintendo controllers and walkmen apart as a kid.  I just really want to see if I can figure out how they work.  No laces I get.  For lots of years most all I have worn are Vans slipons although sanuk slipons are closing the gap but they are little.  Cowboy boots are tall.  For there to be enough room in the tall part for the whole ankle area thing to fit thorough it seems like it would be all sloppy and weird to walk around.
I even tried asking Siri "how do cowboy boots work?" It just directed me to some Ladies shoe stores.  So naturally I figure Siri does not care about cowboy boots, just wants me to meet some new ladies.  So to test I asked Siri what color fire was.  I think I was giving Siri too much credit.

although I do like the sound of happy feet.  I wonder what the plus could be?

There is this guy I know.

He was in a pretty famous band from the 70's.  I knew him for at least a year and saw him once every couple weeks before someone else told me about him being in that band.  Very humble guy, he never mentioned it or alluded to it at all.  Anyway, the last time I talk to him he is going away for a long weekend so he mentioned naturally that he had to go buy a showerhead and crescent wrench.  Huh?  The showerheads in hotels are very inconsistent he explains so first thing on a trip he changes the hotel showerhead so he can enjoy the shower more for the rest of his stay.  That is next level.  I can not wait until I next go somewhere involving a hotel.  More enjoyable hotel showers here I come.

Picture Unrelated.

Being in the hospital sucks

Jeff has been out for a few weeks now but is not yet back to normal.  The only upside to going to the hospital is you get to see this machine.  It is the machine that they use to make donuts when they are on a space station or a space shuttle in space.  It was made in 1985 by scientists from the United States and the U.S.S.R. working together.  Some historians say that the teamwork displayed by these scientists and the resulting space donuts eventually brought about glasnost, or something like that and ended the cold war.  If your interested I would advise asking about a hospital tour or something because the alternative, having your appendix out twice, really really really really really really sucks for the most part.  Except for the seeing someone you have not seen in a hundred years afterwords, but the rest really really really really really really sucks.

The new iPhone vs. my free time.

After playing with the 4s for a little while, I have to say I am impressed.  I use Hipstamatic a lot.  The pictures build up pretty quick even on an iPhone 4.  When it gets to 9 you have to wait for it to go down before you can take anymore.  With the 4 I often have to switch to the regular camera app to continue taking pics while the Hipstamatic photos are processing.  On the iPhone 4s with my normal use I have not seen it go above 4.  I guess its the processor, but whatever it is, for how I like to use this device the 4s is a huge improvement.

EDIT AS OF 11.14.11-they updated Hipstamatic so it is higher resolution I guess.  Now I can easily fill up all 9 things so I have to switch to the regular camera until it is done.  Stupid progress.

The iPhone vs. my free time.

I like apps.  Jeff makes apps.  Free apps are sometimes fun to download and play with even if I am not really into the subject matter.  for instance:

I need to go outside.

This makes me confused and uncomfortable

This picture I saw on a box that a bicycle shipped in.  It tells the potential rider how to determine the size bike they need by their crotch altitude.  

Okay, thats fine.

Why the hat?

I Wish Sandwich Makers Joked Less

I dont know what this means.  It is in the bathroom of a Jimmy John's Sub Shop I was in.  I think we would all be more comfortable if it were not there. 

What a good night.

Thats what last night was.

Picture Unrelated.

Appendix Is Stupid

A few months ago, Jeff had his appendix out and I did not see him for 3-4 days.  There had only been one other stretch that long in the history if Jeff and I that we went that long apart.  Then 2 Fridays ago on the Jeff needed his appendix out again.  This should not be.  The doctor left some in there last time.  Jeff almost died, and had to have another surgery to get the bad stuff out.  8 days in the hospital.  Wtf.  We almost went nuts because i'm not allowed in the hospital and Jeff was not allowed out of the hospital.  It was awful on my side and even worse some of the things they do in there.  In conclusion, I am against doctors leaving poison in people after surgeries.

This is not appropriate

but jeff and i never wear socks but in the hospital they are making him wear all kind of crazy socks.  this is very disappointing.

My apologies for the language but this hospital thing is really getting to us.