Peanuts

Friday, July 31, 2009

I have a jar of dry roasted peanuts in front of me that is like 1/3rd that weird dry roasted peanut dust.  .I only eat peanuts once every 6 months or so.  .This must have been the end of a batch or something.  .All this peanut dust is making me uncomfortable.  .If I were the passenger in a car that was being driven 85 mph by a crazy person I would throw this jar of weird peanut dust at a speed limit sign.  .I am going to only eat peanuts once a year from now on.

Fun Tip: get some white spray paint, paint over the s and d on any speed limit sign, sleep a little better because some people will smile when driving past said sign on their way to work.  

Extra fun tip: Extra periods.

Texting while driving.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Things like this are why I try to avoid the local news.  

I am much less concerned about accidents caused by driving while texting than I am about the fact that the 2% of the population that are not sure if they are texting while driving are allowed to drive in the first place.  

I bet these two percent also have a turn signal on right now and have no intention of turning anytime soon.

True Blood Season 2

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I thought True Blood Season 1 was very good.  I do not care for vampires so much but this was a good story.  True Blood Season 2 is now halfway over and boy has it been slow going.  I hope some things happen in the 2nd half of this season.  So far it has been mostly some kind of epileptic witch and a bunch of people you do not really want to see naked doing it.  Even if some of the people are attractive they act weird and their eyes are all black and it makes me uncomfortable.  I do not like this story line at all.  Then there is Jason at the church camp.  This story line is almost as dumb, but maybe even worse because it is sooooo predictable.  

At least I know from the books that Jason and Mary Ann the witch thing will get married at the end of the season and then Mary Ann gives him a crazy witch STD and his butt falls off and turns into an alligator that solves crime during the day and at night restores old cars and motorcycles for fun.

Other than that the show is still good, I like Terry and Hoyt and Lafayette.  I just wish they would show more vampires moving fast and punching jerks.

Pawse

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I have paws.

In other news the remote control has a button that is pause but it sounds like paws.  

I normally push the pause button with my paw but when I am feeling silly I use more than one paw.  Then in my head I think I just pushed pause with my paws and then I fall off the couch.

 

Ted?

Sunday, July 26, 2009

I have been watching the Food Network some lately and I believe this weirdo is on 70 to 80 % of the shows on cable.  

In other news these tablets cost 99 cents for 3.  I believe this may be another reason our country has money problems.  I do not believe you they can ship those tablets to the store for 33 cents a piece.

And what do people even do with paper anymore, what is this, 1992? 

OHHHHHhhhhh, look at me I am going to write something down on some dead tree parts squished flat like my ancestors did.

FFFFAAAAACCCCCCCEEEEEEEE

This is my face..

As far as you know.

In other news something about a barber in a village, I do not really know.

Statistics

I think that my pulse is the same as Jeff’s and my breathing is much faster. 

Coins in toilet seat=awesome, dollar in toilet seat=lame.

A bathroom that I have been known to spend some time in may be being redone.  Part of that process is to take the floor out and under that floor some awesome old bright blue sparkly tile may have been found.  I decided this is the best possible flooring for a bathroom.  

Toilet seats with padding on them are very strange.

I have always wanted one of those toilet seats that are clear and have coins in them.  The problem is putting dollars or silver coins in them is stupid.  I want one with all pennys so that it matches the giant goldfishes on the shower curtain.  Stupid quarters and dimes and nickels.

Cereal Killer was a stupid name for a record.

I have been watching the Dexter stories on the On Demand.  I am through the first season and second season and just starting on the third.  I usually think that serial killers and stories about serial killers are silly.  But I saw some ads for this one on Big Brother After Dark and it said it had Michael C. Hall in it.  

So of course I wanted to see the nerd from the Breakfast Club serial kill people so I started watching.  

It was good so I kept watching even though I guess that was a different kind of Mike Hall.

Oh well, It is still a okay story.

The Moon.

Today Rhonda asked if I thought the moon landing was a hoax.  Of course not.  Put on your physics hats folks, I will explain.  

I can not see Rhonda’s house from here but I have been to Rhonda’s house.  

I can see the moon from here so it musssssst be much easier to get to.  You do not even have to turn at all to get there.  You do not even have to go through stupid Texas.  All my exes live in Texas.

So there is the proof, If Jeff and I can go back and forth from Florida to Arizona a couple times around all those turns and then through the mountains in that New Mexico and I saw snow and then we get there then surely the government can get a couple of humps in a flying saucer to go in a straight line to the moon.