I think its an act.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Either way, it is awesome.  I also like Angry Birds.

They should make payphones that text?

Friday, February 25, 2011

Because who really talks on the phone anymore.  Maybe people whos phone fell in the ocean still want to do some sexting or find out what is for dinner before they can make it to the Apple store.  Slow scientists are really trampling on my ability to trade quarters for communication.

I am watching the Grammies right now.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

And holy crap, there is a lot of suck in music these days.  And then CeeLo Green in a big chicken thing costume and a sequined helmet and a dancing dog puppet and then that portly chick from Shallow Hal all skinny again redeemed this whole fiasco.  Only thing that could have possibly made this better is if one of Gwens’s boobs fell out.  I could even live with seeing Bob Dylan mumble through another song if CeeLo would do another.  I feel like I am going to ride this high until that hump Eminem comes out pointlessly angry and sucks.

Pinaud Clubman After Shave, are we going to have a problem here?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Jeff likes to smell like a barber shop.  The best way he has found to accomplish this is with this old school, old man, 2$ a bottle after shave.  Not to tell tales out of school, but I believe I have seen him splash some on even when he has not shaved for days.  Here is where I start to take fault, inspecting a new bottle for tampering before opening, I read the little seal.

And I quote:  “Refilling this bottle or tampering with this stop-

per is illegal.  Violations will be prosecuted.”

Listen here jerks, I am going to “tamper with this stopper” every f#$%ing time Jeff puts this stuff on.  What are you nuts? You want us to drill a hole beside the stopper to get the stuff out?  Why even have a stopper if you do not want people to use it?  Also I believe it would be obvious to even a child that you would have I hard time prosecuting me if I refill this bottle.  The bottle and its contents became mine when I gave Walgreens pharmacy 4 bucks for this and a few Valentines Day Ring Pops.  I will fill my bottle whenever and with whatever I want.  Just because you want to play gestapo on your label I might fill this with 1 part Aqua Velva, 1 part Old Spice and 1 part Pabst Blue Ribbon then mix it up real good and then pour it out on the ground to form the words “Fuck Authority” then light it on fire.  

To quote Princess Leia:

“the more you tighten your grip, Pinaud Clubman After Shave Lotion, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.”

What a hump

Did he think Republicans would immediately give up their ideals when he came into office or is he trying to trick me?

Who do we live with?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Minutes ago we decided to watch a Star Wars movie.  Minute ago we decided that just like most times we watch a Star Wars movie it will be Episode 4:A New Hope.  Then seconds ago I heard Jeff ask Kim if they made lightsabers and they cost 600 dollars would she want one.  She said “no they seem too dangerous.”  I am amazed that there are people in this world who would not pay 600$ for a lightsaber.  I have thought about it you could probably get like 10 thousand dollars for some, but only nerds and people who cut things for a living would buy them.  2k$ and you bring in hobbyists and martial artists.  600 bucks though?  Untill just now I firmly believed that EVERYONE in the world would get one.  Take note, this is one of the rare times that I stand corrected.  Picture Unrelated.

Vampires are pretty gay,

Monday, January 31, 2011

And not in the good way.

But, 

The Lost Boys movie, and even the sequel are awesome.  I just watched what I though was the sequel on the Netflix and there was another Lost Boys on there but they have to send it to you.  I feel like I saw that one too some time ago.  But I am just saying, this morning I would have said there were 2 Lost Boys movies and now I think there may be three.  Sometimes life just keeps on giving.  

In other news, boy, those jerks who stop internets in Egypt sure are dicks, huh?

I got ants in my pants and i need to dance?

Saturday, January 30, 2010

today i was listening to james brown.  I like the song ants in my pants part 1.  it is like listening to a 20 second song about 9 or 10 times in a row.  

soooooo i decided to try an experiment and put it on repeat and listened to the whole song 10 times in a row.  really concentrating.  and then i gained the ability to time travel.  is is kind of cool but you can only travel through the past and only as far back as when you were born.  so then today i went back and for the 1st time found out who won the super bowl 2 years ago.  then i came back to now and realized i still do not care about the 2 years ago super bowl and my back hurt.  i hate time travel.

Social Distortion Record

Sunday, January 23, 2011

We bought the new Social Distortion record today.  Kim gave it a listen and said there is not much punk in this rock.  we will have to listen to it later and see if I agree.  We heard some of these songs at the show this band played in St. Petersburg a month or two ago.  The big news is that Mike Ness, this bands singer, got an anchor tattooed on his face.  Okay, never mind that is not big news, just kind of weird.  

Edit: I listened to it, There is a song about me, Princess Sparkle, on there.  That was nice of them.  But there are 2 songs about the goddamn cat on there.  That is gay.  Soooooo, I like it, ,this record is good, but not my favorite by this band.

Mega Piranha

Saturday, January 15, 2011

I saw this.  It was even better than Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus.

I want to build my own dumb movie.

MEGASPARKLE vs. ?

1. a.godrantula
2. b.cockbulance
3. c.giggapig(a)
4. d.jerkhorse

Boy, I really seemed to run out of steam at the end of my list.