Today I went shopping.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I needed some puppy pads.  I could either go to Target or Wal-Mart as I was passing them both.  I decided to try Target because I though there would be less swine flu in there.  There was still some.  I think that pigs invented their flu to get back at women.  They are mad because 95% of women either like monkeys or horses.  Only 2% like pigs.  So they invented swine flu to kill women.  Stupid women.  They could at least pretend to like pigs.

Princess Sparkle’s Guide to Happiness

Step 1: Wake up, go for walk, eat, fight hat.

Step 2: Go to beach

Step 3: ????

Step 4: Profit

Sometimes you say Hey Pelican, today might not be your day to sit comfortably on the rope.

Pretend there is still a video of a pelican trying to balance on an rope here.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

But this pelican is not going to take no for an answer.  Even if the other birds stare at him like he is an idiot.  This pelican has heart.  They should make a bud light commercial about this pelican.  Although truth be told I probably would have just sat on the pile.

I could do without Dwight Yokam existing.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I used to wish I was a superhero so that I could spend more time fighting against Ronnie James Dio.  I consider him my arch enemy.  I also am cursed with the curse of having to try food that seems funny.  I tried these chicken things.  Now I wish I was a superhero so I could fight Ronnie James Dio and Dwight Yokam. 

Bike Lock

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Today we found this bike lock that we could not remember the combination to.  I decided to just go through them all starting from 1111 and going up towards 6666.  It took a whole episode of survivor to find it.  6665.  Damn it.  At least I know if I ever am in desperate need of transportation I can have the closest locked bike in 42 minutes or less.

9/18/09

9/18/09

these birds.

This is me.

This is me.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

And this is the cat.

Princess Sparkle is really happy for you and she is going to let you finish but the VMAs are not very good tv.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I saw nothing that impressed me.  Can we mention that Mike Jackson probably gave little kids wine and touched their junk when we are dedicating everything on the show to him.

Kanye is a big idiot.  Lady Gaga is weird.

Also, How embarrassing that the Green Day guy and Ozzy’s daughter showed up with the exact same hair and clothing style.  And face and singing talent.

Stupid Pancreases.

LLLLLLLLIIIBBEERRRRTTTAAAAADddddd.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being happy and 1 being sad I am about a 5.5 that there is a place called Libertad in  El Salvador.  This level of happiness would go up if they changed the name to Libertyad or if they made me the boss of that place.  I would make my city the number one exporter of those colorful woven Mexican pullover things.