Jerks

Go to YouTube and Watch Dave Letterman's reflections after 9/11.

Tyra without her wig

Friday, September 11, 2009

Some one made a big deal about Tyra without her wig.  I looked for a photo of what they were talking about.  I do not know what the big deal was.  Looks just like I thought it would.

Princess Sparkle’s Gas Tips

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Screw those humps for taking the little lever off the gas pump handle that makes it stay in so you do not have to hold it in the whole time.  I like to jam the car’s gas cap in the pump handle so that i do not have to hold it in.  Then I stroll around confidently while the other gas buyers have to stay right there and hold theirs in.  Dummies.

And the reason I went so far away....

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Craigslist’s motto should be Ebay for crazy people.  About a week ago Jeff and Kim decided that neither of them had ridden a bicycle for 15 or so years and it was about time they did.  But there would be rules.  Any bicycle style that anyone has ever worn spandex on was ruled out.  Kim’s main rule was that her bike would have a banana seat.  Jeff’s main rule was that his would be a bmx bike and there would be a basket for me added.  And he would take off and throw away the brakes.  

Anyway after the guy at the local bike shop said they did not really make Kim’s style of bike anymore Jeff checked craigslist.  There was one listed for 20$.  We promptly bought it off of the woman after hearing about her lowrider car she bought to go to concerts and how her interview at the strip club went earlier that day.  She was very nice.  

So now we have one banana seat down one bmx and one basket to go.  

In other news, I hate all this talk about what does Santa do if there is a house with no chimney.  The jerk can deliver toys to every good kid in the world in one night and has flying deer things helping him?  He is obviously using some kind of stupid magic.  Like he could not just use the magic to make a temporary chimney on the house.  

I really hope the bike lady gets the job at the strip club.

Today I went 52 miles away from my house.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I usually go 1-2 miles from my house but sometimes I go as many as 6 miles away.  Today I went 52 miles away.  It was weird there.

Never have I been happier that I fit in the sink.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

That is the neighbor’s dog and the neighbors and a hose and some water.  The water is punching the dog in the face.  Stupid water.

The Pittsburgh Pirates.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

One time on a plane from where we live to Pittsburgh Jeff was wearing a Pittsburgh Pirates hat.  We really have never watched a baseball game and could not name a single baseball player unless they did something else too.  Like Darryl Strawberry did coke and Jose Canseco was on the Simpsons.  Anyway there were a bunch of well dressed guys on the plane.  Every old man that passed us looked at us then looked at them then smiled real big and said how luck we are and this must be very exciting.  Some of the well dressed guys smiled at us and some of them shook Jeff’s hand.  I figured it was just because I was so cute.  Eventually we figured out those guys were the Pittsburgh Pirates and they train by where we live.  It was all very uncomfortable and we threw that hat away and stay away from sports logos now.

All in all I guess there are worse reasons for a group of well dressed older men to smile at you other than they are the Pittsburgh Pirates, but off the top of my head I can not think of any.

Reason number 6545 why I hate hippies.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Their lies about it being important to save paper have created such a backwards world that I will be charged $1.50 to get a bill.  T-mobile has informed me that they are going to start charging me to send me a bill and I have never been so offended in my life.  I am okay with paying for services I use, but being charged to be charged for services I use all of a sudden is a little too much like them introducing a pleasure of doing business with us tax.  I do already pay my bill with them online, but I like the paper reminder to go online and pay my bill.  I guess I will just pay their new pleasure of us charging you for services tax until my contract is up.  I have been looking for an excuse to switch to an iphone anyway.  

And to anyone that thinks it is good to save paper, I hope a guy whose town stinks because they make paper there and he is not going to have a job because you do not use paper anymore punches you in the face.  Hard enough that you die.

Stupid brick roads are stupid.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

I have never seen a nice one, they are always crooked and bumpy and messed up.  Why would anyone prefer this to pavement.  I will tell you why, because they are dumb.  

This brick road leads to a hospital.  Why would you want a smooth road to get broken people from places where they break to places where they get fixed?  This seems not only stupid to have this road here, but kind of mean.  

We were at this hospital because we drove someone we know there to have a surgery.  While they were getting chopped up we milled around to see what the other bored drivers were doing.  Most were either going to church at the special hospital church or standing outside smoking.  Smoking and churching are activities similar in that if you are not really into that activity you can not comprehend why someone would want to do that to themselves.

True Blood is almost over.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

And I am getting mad.  Not only do I still think that Sam should turn into a dinosaur and step on the jerks, but I am starting to think these vampires are not realistic.  They are always eating blood and they are messy about it.  Then they never have stains on their shirts.  I know you do not just wash blood right out.  It leaves a stain.  So they either buy a new shirt every time they eat someone or they have special laundry secrets.  I wish the producers would address this.