Happy Halloween Jerks

Saturday, October 31, 2009

I am going as internet sensation Advice Dog.  He always has good things to say.  I almost went with Order Pizza, Pay with snakes, but this one really speaks to me.

www.princesssparkle.com

Friday, October 30, 2009

This is the day I have been waiting for for 2 years and 6 days.  Two years and 6 days ago I started this blog so that if aliens monitor the internet they would see what a dog thinks about and not blow up our planet.  Now on the 2 year and 6 day anniversary of my blog being accessible at princesssparkle.info and princesssparkle.net and even princesssparkle.org, after having .com backordered for those 2 years and 6 days my blog is finally accessible from princesssparkle.com.  It feels good, I will go as far as saying I feel 16” tall.  With this kind of power I feel like going on the offensive against those alien nerds.  You get on you hands and knees behind them and I am going to shove them real hard.  With any luck they will hit their head on a space table on the way down.  Community is a funny tv show.  Picture unrelated.

This is what happens when I go on my walk

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I have been inside all day and I am going nuts

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

It rained all day.  The only upside is I have this game called tower madness and it is fun.  And that Kim put this stupid hat thing on the cat and it was mad.  I was at the mall yesterday and all the costumes are sexy something.  Like I saw a sexy nurse costume and a sexy cat costume and a sexy fireman costume.  They actually say sexy fireman on the tag.  If I wear a costume for halloween this year Jeff is going to be sexy Batman and I am going to be sexy Robin.  It probably will not happen because Kim thinks that is dumb and Jeff and I are not much of a seamstress.  And we do not know where to buy spandex. 

ORANGE LINE

Monday, October 26, 2009

ORANGE LINE! ORANGE LINE! ORANGE LINE! ORANGE LINE! ORANGE LINE! ORANGE LINE! TODAY I SAW A ORANGE LINE.  IT WAS ORANGE AND IT COULD BE ON THE GRASS AND ON THE ROAD.  AT THE SAME TIME.  I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK I WAS SO STARTLED THAT THERE WAS AN ORANGE LINE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD.  WHAT NEXT, A GIANT DITCH WITH A PIPE IN IT?  OR MAYBE A CABLE COMPANY TRUCK?  MAYBE EVEN 6 GUYS WITH SHOVELS WHERE FIVE GUYS LOOK WHILE ONE GUY USES HIS SHOVEL?  

THIS IS WHY HALLOWEEN IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY BY FAR. 

Princess Sparkle’s theme song

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I decided it was time for me to have a theme song.  So I was going to record it in Garage Band so I went to the Garage Band website to try to learn how to plug Jeff’s guitar into it.  While there I saw they have lessons from some music people.  I looked over the list of people who Garage Band supports.  It was like a who’s who of people I would not recognize if I was stuck in an elevator for 12 hours with.  I do not know any songs by these humps and I would not like to know any songs by these humps.  I am no longer interested in using garage band for my theme song because these people suck.

There goes the neighborhood

Friday, October 23, 2009

I saw pac-man playing basketball at the beach today.  I wish he had spikes all over him so the stupid ball would pop.

Hawaii

Thursday, October 22, 2009

This Ipod touch makes me like to live in the East.

Apparently the the rest of the country does not even know what day it is.  I should fly there and do some sports betting.

Peg and Al

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I am very happy that I can watch Al Bundy in Modern Family and then watch Peg Bundy in Sons of Anarchy in a row and it is like one long super episode of Married with Children.  There is even a Henry Rollins in there to make it even better.  

To even out how much I like this the stupid universe made the bad guy in the Lord of the Rings movies a stupid eye on a mountain like 300 miles away from every one that looks at them sometimes.  OOhhhhhhhhh, Scary.  Try looking at Darth Vader you stupid eye.  He would bonk you on the head with his laser sword and then you would need a corrective lens.  I am going to go watch Star Wars now.

PRINCESSAUROUS SPARKLE

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I will give God credit.  The smartest thing he ever did was not invent a Princessaurous Sparkle.  It would have looked stupid.  

I am going to go sit on the beach and not see meteors now.  Go about your day.

I HAVE TEETH

Monday, October 19, 2009

Also the candy Now and Later is not so good.  I was excited to see there was peach and pineapple flavors.  They both tasted bad. 

It got cold.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I hate the cold.  The wind blows on my eyes or butt depending on what direction I am walking.  It is uncomfortable either way.

Also I like to watch tv and then listen to the podcast about the tv show the next day when I am doing something else.  I have a problem with some of them though.  I like the Survivor podcast I listen to because it is 30 minutes long to cover a hour show.  I do not like the Office one or one of the Clone Wars ones though because those 2 stories are 30 minutes long and the last episodes of these 2 podcasts are 90 minutes long.  That is too long.  And I for one will not stand for it.

I blame Pixar.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I thought it was funny that a kid flew away in a balloon wether or not he was alive.  Now that it a hoax I salute the kids.  The news is dumb.  They will believe anything.  I hope there are a bunch of copycat hoaxes and the news gets mad.  Then there can be a cash prize for the best hoax every year given out at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice awards.  I am going to start working on my hoax tomorrow. 

MUPSIDEDOWN

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Also I watched the 4th Harry Potter movie last night.  Meh.  On par with the third which makes it way better that the 1st and second but only because the 1st and second were very very very very bad.  I am going to watch the 5th tonight.  I am not excited about this.  

In other news the neighbor backed into our mailbox so our mail is all agitated.  Naturally I put the mail in a bucket of water to calm it down.  I predict this will make Kim grumpy when she sees it. 

Kim’s Damn Birthday.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Yesterday was Kim’s birthday so I did not get to watch the 4th Harry Potter movie.  I am going to try to watch it tonight.  The suspense is killing me because I looked at the box and it seems like Edward from Twilight is in it.  And he is either dreamy or weird looking depending on who you talk to.

Bbbbiiiiikkkkkkkkkeeeeee

Sunday, October 11, 2009

This weekend we took the bike apart and stripped it and painted it and put it back together and make new stickers for it and put the stickers on it.  I think it is much nicer now.  The cat’s tongue is like sandpaper.

Also I tried to see the 2nd Harry Potter again and could not finish it.  I skipped ahead to the third.  Although we were putting the bike back together at the time so I was not paying a lot of attention I think it was better than the first two.  I am almost excited to see if the 4th one is even better or if the third was a fluke or if I was high on paint stripper fumes and just imagined the third one.

Harry Potter sucks.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I tried to watch the Harry Potter movie some years ago and could not make it through because it was so dumb.  Then a few months ago I tried to listen to the Harry Potter audio books and could not make it 10 minutes in because it was dumb.  I am going to really try to get through these movies this time.  I made it the whole way through the first one this afternoon.  This is a new record for me putting up with Harry Potter so I am just taking a break to write this then I am going to try to get through the second one.  All I can say about the first is that I would have never made it through if we did not just jailbreak our old ipod touch and playing with it was diluting the attention given to Harry Potter.  I am three and this movie seemed like it was for some one much younger than me.  And that is only 2 and 1.  I usually like kids movies but this one was just dumb.  I hope they get better as they go on.  And by the way what kind of jerk does not know the difference between a N and a lightning bolt?

The 2nd one is not so good either.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I made it about 12 minutes.  Then I went to the beach.  Maybe I will try again tomorrow.

More like Nobel Hump Prize.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Guess who else won, Jimmy Carter and Al Gore.  Two of the most annoying nonsense jerks that I know of.  This should be called “the Obama sucks in the polls and we are a very liberal, veeeerrrrrrrryyy liberal organization so we give the award to him to try to give him a bump even though one of the qualifications for this so called peace prize is to eliminate or reduce standing armies and he has already increased our military by 22 thousand people and suggested congress increase the army and marines even further award.”  The bad part is this will be all over the news and dummies will think “hey maybe he is doing good, I guess I like him again.”

I thought bikes were bad?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Sooooo some days ago Jeff got Kim a bike.  I did not like where this was going.  Then just less days ago Kim got Jeff a bike.  I was worried.  Then we took a few laps around the neighborhood.  It was okay, it was like skateboarding but on a bike instead of a skateboard.  There is wind on my face like running but without all the work.  But I was still worried.  I kept looking at Jeff waiting for the spandex and helmet to get on him.  But they never came.  I guess bikes are not the jerks, just some people who go on bikes are regular jerks and give bikes a bad name.  See chart below.

I am catching up on the new season of Dexter right now.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

And I just saw John Lithgows butt.  I thought it was better in Harry and the Hendersons.

The French.

Monday, October 5, 2009

I always thought the French were annoying fancy pantses.  I also thought annoying fancy pantses cared about spelling.  Well as you can see that some jerk gave me this junk instead of a good old American quarter and it is proof that the French can not spell.  So I guess the French are not just annoying fancy pantses, they are stupid annoying fancy pantses.  Unless this coin is from some other stupid country and then I take that back and the Francers are still just annoying fancy pantses.  I threw the coin into the ocean shortly after this photo.  I figure the Coast Guard can handle it from there.

Adopted?

Friday, October 2, 2009

We received cards from Jeff’s Mom and Jeff’s Grandpa today.  The writing is very similar.  Jeff does not write anything like that.  Either they are trying to pull one over on us and the cards were sent by the same person or Jeff must be adopted.  The show Community is mildly amusing.  

In other news I saw a car crash into a van that was already wrecked and being pulled by a tow truck.  It made me feel confused.

Marketing.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

In what world do you make the champagne of beers come in a camouflage can.  Champagne and and camouflage only have one thing in common.  A stupid extra letter.