R.I.P. Evel

Friday, November 30, 2007

First Dee Dee Ramone, now Evel Knievel.  Soon there will be no heroes left.  Screw these new daredevils with their little plastic bikes and 3 feet of shock travel.  The man did it on a Harley with the stars and bars on his leathers and a cape.   You try to pull off a cape.  Thats not rain outside, God is crying.  Jeff and i are getting drunk and jumping one of his skateboards over his motorcycle.

Al Patti's

Friday, November 30, 2007

I liked the Flaming Moe’s so much i decided to go to another bar.  This time the best bar ever, Al Patti’s.  They serve Iron City Beer here. It is delicious.  You all should go there and have one.  I am a big fan of steak.  They have a steak night.  The steak night is delicious.  I am pretty sure God invented Al Patti’s steak night to make up for the fact that there is a such thing as a Wolfendales.  Now I am hungry.

Flaming Moe's

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I am thirsty.  Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away?  I am going to cut in line with Joe Stains.

Daytona Beach

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

This might be my favorite beach ever.  They even make it easy to find the beach.  But if you can not locate the ocean, I hope you took a bus here jerk.

The Circus

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Elephants smell bad.  Clowns are not funny.  I do not get it.

Niagra Falls

Friday, November 23, 2007

Their dollars are coins here.  Strike one.  It is cold.  Strike two.  You get arrested if you ride a barrel over the falls.  So much for Canada. 

Grocery Store

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Holy Crap.

A little bit of what makes the U.S. great right here.  I am trying all of them.  Then when I am older- Jello Shots.  Now where was that dog food aisle.

Space

Sunday, November 18, 2007

I was in space today.  It is cold and dark and scary and cold.  I do not know how in the hell Lance Armstrong does this in spandex.  Also no Ewoks.  I think they would make a good pet for me.  I wonder how far Graceland is from here?

Anarctica

Friday, November 16, 2007

This is stupid.  I like penguins.  Not good pets though, we would have to leave the AC on all the time. 

I am not wearing this jacket to Graceland.

Las Vegas, NV

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Holy crap.  To heck with the strip, Downtown is better.  My only complaint is that they really do undervalue the Hot Dog here.

I am going to Graceland next time.

Liberty Bell, Philladelphia, PA

Friday, November 9, 2007

I was kind of named after this thing.   I like the idea.  They made it.  They broke it.  They made it Better.  They broke it again.  They made it even better.  They broke it.  They said “hell with it then, leave it broken.”  There is a message in there somewhere.  I guess sometimes even if it is broke, you don’t have to fix it.

This one does not look as comfortable as the one I am used to.

Off to Graceland.

Atlantic City, NJ

Sunday, November 4, 2007

The Tropicana, a dirty beach and a dirty ocean.  The only thing that could make me like this town more is if the next National Lampoons Vacation movie was about Clark Griswold and Nick Papageorgio hanging out here.  I would like to see them mostly sit on benches with senior citizens and feed seagulls bread crumbs.  If they could do it next to a dog park that would be awesome. 

I am going to Graceland next.