Boy am I glad I do not have to wear shoes.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I think from some years of walking on the beach everyday and swimming in the ocean every day Jeff’s feet have evolved into big flat triangles like a pelican.

This makes his shoes not fit so good. 

They should make shoes like a boxing mouthpiece where you put them in some hot water then try them on and they melt and fit right.  I blame this all on nerds who should be doing things like inventing perfect fitting shoes playing World of Warcraft instead of inventing said shoes.  

Hi

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Going to sleep makes me mad a little bit.  It used to make me very mad.  I very much want to know how falling asleep works and feels but when I wake up I never remember how it happened.  This used to drive me nuts, but for some reason I care less and less as I get older.  I do not know if it is because I have other things to think about now or if my head is realizing that is a stupid thing to care about.  Either way I guess some day I will not care at all how it feels to fall asleep.  That will be nice.

In other news, today I watched 14 episodes of Alf and found 3 shark teeth.  I have had better days, but not many.

I stand corrected.

Friday, August 28, 2009

I used to not care so much for Hulu.  Then I found 

www.hulu.com/alf 

I have never been so wrong in my life.  There goes the weekend. 

I am very handsome.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Also this pier is very long and I eat little fish I think.  Also today is very hazy and I think peoples legs bend backwards.  But most importantly, I am very handsome. 

Loch Ness Monster secret identity revealed.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

RUN, RUN AND HIDE IF YOU HAVE A CAT.

I was walking and saw the Loch Ness Monster.  Nothing new, sometimes he hangs out on our beach on his way home from Cancun.  But then I took the photo I got of the top of Nessie’s head and ear and had an expert sketch artist draw in the rest.  Run and hide.  Your cats may really be baby Loch Ness Monsters.

Keys get people into houses sometimes.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

What is even weirder is that my belly smells different than my back.  I know they are both made of the same things because I only have one mouth and I am there whenever I eat anything.  My belly has little to no hair on it and my back has one layer of hair on it.  Sometimes my back points up and my belly points down but some other times they both point sideways.  But I do not believe that they have ever pointed forward and backward.  These are the differences between my back and belly as far as I see it.  Thank you for listening.

Truth in advertising.

Monday, August 24, 2009

I had a Dejorno pizza for the first time.  They say it is not delivery in their slogan.  They are right. 

The Lords Day

Sunday, August 23, 2009

I like Sunday because I get to watch Big Brother and True Blood.  Tonight on Big Brother they talked about Jeff’s Hawaiian vacation that he won for the 2nd time.  He chose this Hawaiian vacation over 5000$.  I hope when he gets out of the Big Brother house someone tells him a week vacation in Hawaii for 2 people runs about 3800$ these days.  So he could have went to Hawaii aaaaaaand bought a 30 pairs of Vans slip-ons.  

I will now be measuring all amounts of money over 119 dollars in pairs of Vans slip-ons instead of dollars.

And then I watch True Blood and there is a guy named Sam that can turn into animals.  I spend the whole hour yelling at the tv character that he should turn into a dinosaur and stomp the bad guys.  I know what you are thinking, dinosaurs are extinct.  I say if I can suspend my disbelief enough to think he can turn into an animal then it is not so much of a stretch that he can turn into an extinct animal.  

And even if he can not, a rhinoceros is not extinct and might as well be a dinosaur as far as I am concerned.
And boy could a rino stomp some jerks.

WWWWHHHHHHAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I think I heard somewhere that a lot of important influential people sleep with their tongue sticking out sometimes.

In other news, HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!

My blanket seems to have turned into quicksand. 

I AM THREE

Friday, August 21, 2009

So today we were hanging out in the bra section at a local store for reasons that are none of your business.  And there was some graffiti carved into a display rack.  I expected a swear word, maybe a drawing of some boobs but no, Just his name and age.  I like that idea.  Next time I am in a bra section I am going to find something to carve into and write PRINCESS SPARKLE WHITE WITH BROWN SPOTS.