I am having a party.

Saturday, December 3, 2007

Jeff is going to see Social Distortion play tonight.  I have plans also.  As soon as he leaves I am playing drinking games.  The stupid alligator always argues about the rules and I do not think that he knows them.  The shark smokes inside even when I tell him that is against the rules.  When the octopus gets some rum in him he is all hands.  They are all good guys though because I bite them and shake my head really fast and they do not seem to mind.  I am smarter than them so I should be president all night.  After we play a few rounds I am going to try to talk everyone in to either going to the bar next door or looking for cats to get in a fight with.

Under the Sea

Thursday, December 6, 2007

I really like the edge of the ocean but the inside makes me grumpy.  Coral makes me itchy.  Those jerks from The Little Mermaid are full of crap.  The salt water does not really bother my eyes but I am keeping them closed because there are a lot of fish here and I do not see a designated area for them to go to the bathroom.

Al Patti's

Friday, November 30, 2007

I liked the Flaming Moe’s so much i decided to go to another bar.  This time the best bar ever, Al Patti’s.  They serve Iron City Beer here. It is delicious.  You all should go there and have one.  I am a big fan of steak.  They have a steak night.  The steak night is delicious.  I am pretty sure God invented Al Patti’s steak night to make up for the fact that there is a such thing as a Wolfendales.  Now I am hungry.

Flaming Moe's

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I am thirsty.  Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away?  I am going to cut in line with Joe Stains.

Daytona Beach

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

This might be my favorite beach ever.  They even make it easy to find the beach.  But if you can not locate the ocean, I hope you took a bus here jerk.

The Circus

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Elephants smell bad.  Clowns are not funny.  I do not get it.

Niagra Falls

Friday, November 23, 2007

Their dollars are coins here.  Strike one.  It is cold.  Strike two.  You get arrested if you ride a barrel over the falls.  So much for Canada. 

Grocery Store

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Holy Crap.

A little bit of what makes the U.S. great right here.  I am trying all of them.  Then when I am older- Jello Shots.  Now where was that dog food aisle.

Space

Sunday, November 18, 2007

I was in space today.  It is cold and dark and scary and cold.  I do not know how in the hell Lance Armstrong does this in spandex.  Also no Ewoks.  I think they would make a good pet for me.  I wonder how far Graceland is from here?

Anarctica

Friday, November 16, 2007

This is stupid.  I like penguins.  Not good pets though, we would have to leave the AC on all the time. 

I am not wearing this jacket to Graceland.

Las Vegas, NV

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Holy crap.  To heck with the strip, Downtown is better.  My only complaint is that they really do undervalue the Hot Dog here.

I am going to Graceland next time.

Liberty Bell, Philladelphia, PA

Friday, November 9, 2007

I was kind of named after this thing.   I like the idea.  They made it.  They broke it.  They made it Better.  They broke it again.  They made it even better.  They broke it.  They said “hell with it then, leave it broken.”  There is a message in there somewhere.  I guess sometimes even if it is broke, you don’t have to fix it.

This one does not look as comfortable as the one I am used to.

Off to Graceland.

Atlantic City, NJ

Sunday, November 4, 2007

The Tropicana, a dirty beach and a dirty ocean.  The only thing that could make me like this town more is if the next National Lampoons Vacation movie was about Clark Griswold and Nick Papageorgio hanging out here.  I would like to see them mostly sit on benches with senior citizens and feed seagulls bread crumbs.  If they could do it next to a dog park that would be awesome. 

I am going to Graceland next.

The Statue of Liberty

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Today I was at the Statue of Liberty.  I was slightly disappointed at first because I am Liberty and this statue is not of me.  It was impressive though, I like it.  I can not believe that France had something to do with this.  Stupid France.

Next week, Graceland.

France

The Princess Sparkle Travel Blog of Death

France

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Today I was in France.  I do not really care for France.

Wine<Rum

Paris, France<Paris Hilton

Texas is two and one half times the size of France.

Stupid France.

At least next week I am going to Graceland.