I HAVE TEETH AND I AM THREE

I located this shark tooth recently.  That reminds me of a funny story.  Someone we know is getting their wisdom teeth out tomorrow morning.  I am not sure if dogs have wisdom teeth.  Jeff is driving them there and picking them up.  Or so we thought.  We found out today that he has to stay there the whole time.  Why?  I guess if there is trouble during the procedure they may need to tag Jeff in to help.  What?  I wonder if they know Jeff probably does not have the proper certifications to perform or assist oral surgery in the great state of Florida.  I guess they just heard he was pretty handy with some pliers and a pocket knife.  This is stupid.  It is only supposed to take an hour so he could just bring the Nintendo Ds and easily kill an hour but I think 5 minutes in he is going to say he is getting a drink and not come back for 55 more minutes.  Fight the Power.  If Public Enemy taught me one thing it is that no one wastes Jeff’s time but me.

Today I went for a ride in our Buick

And the heat was coming out weird.  So I looked in the local telephone directory for someone that could help.  I found a listing for a ventriloquist.  I called and explained the situation.  He hung up on me.  He must only work on in the house vents.  

This is a true story.

House vent, as seen on the ceiling of my TV room.

In other news, the odometer on my camera rolled over.  

Picture 9999 was of my in my new custom made plain white v-neck t-shirt prototype.

Taxation WITHOUT Representation

Long have I believed that teachers are the biggest idiots society has to offer.  I am proven right once again.  It is already unfair that homeowners pay school tax even if they hate children because parents are not made to pay their fair share.  Now they are talking about raising my state sales tax to pay for schools.  This is not reasonable to me who has nothing to do with the school system.  Why on earth should I pay for your kids education?  How about we take away the tax cuts parents get for having kids and use all that money for schools.  That way the parents who made the choice to have kids pay for their kids instead of society subsidizing the little jerks.  How about the lazy ineffective teachers get jobs in the summer so they have to work all year like people with real jobs and use that money to pay for schools.  Noooooo, that would be fair to everyone.  Because for some reason I am responsible for your children’s education.  Not any more.  If this passes I will be buying 15% more of my taxable items from the internet so the schools will not see one single extra cent from me.  

And people wonder why I growl at kids.

I will be going number 2 in every teachers lawn and on every schoolyard I pass and not cleaning it up. 

I was going to try internet dating.

I thought I might just learn something about myself.  So I did what most any internet dater would do.  I got an old picture of myself and did some minor doctoring of that photograph so I could post it on my profile.  And that is as far as I got.  That was all I needed to learn something about myself.  I learned that I look creepy with abs.  Oh, well at least I will not have to get rig of my novelty license plate holder that says “Single and Lovin’ it!”

In other news, it was raining today so I am introducing my new It is raining outside logo for the top of my pages.  I will use this logo when ever it is raining outside and remember I have a logo for when it is raining outside or when it is raining outside raining outside for when or raining outside or for raining when it is raining outside for when rain.  HaHa you tried to read that.  Early April Fools for next year.  zing.

This smells flowery

At least this thing is still pillowy.

And in conclusion I have discovered 2 ways for my toungue to be seen.  One is to keep my mouth pretty much closed and stick my tonge out as far as I can.  The other is to leave the tuonge in and open my mouth as far as I can and then you have to look in.  I thought a third way may be possible but when I tried it i pulled a glute.

Reason 6,542 why I hate hippies.

Do not ever get these chips by accident.  They are weak like the mind of a vegetarian.  They break before I can get the delicious lime soaked things in my mouth.  

Booooooooooooooooooooo.

Dimes and pennies.

Why is someone shooting missiles over Japan?

Japan is our buddy.  Worse than that, guess what is on the other side of Japan.  That is correct.  California. 

Even the new guy’s running mate said someone would test him in the first 6 months.  I thought “what solidarity.”  Turns out that may be the only thing that ticket got right.

Say what you will about George W. Bush but he scared the crap out of The United States of America’s enemies.  So much so that the last leader of a country that was against us was found hiding in a hole in a field.  This new guy can not make companies he gave a billion dollars respect him.  Why would the bad guys not shoot missiles where ever they want?

If you mess around too much the old guy would sent the worlds bravest and best armed forces your way.  If you mess around too much the new guy will tell the ineffective and lame U.N. on you.  

At least the new guy is controlling the spending.  

Oh, wait...

Kim got me a new bed and a new shirt recently.

I could take or leave the shirt.  The bed I liked. 

Then the bed was invaded.

Not to take anything away from Sir Winston Churchill but if this bed and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, This was Princess Sparkles finest hour.

this is a nickel

i sure am glad it is not called a knickle.  i would be okay with it being called a nickle.

this is a picture of the nickel to next to a quarter for scale.

hahahaha when i took the picture for you to see the nickel to scale jeff and i laughed and laughed because everyone who knows how big a quarter is should know how big a nickel is.  kim looked at us like we are weird so we explained it to her and then she looked at us like we are weird.

I would like to melt this nickel and make it into a small statue or something to put on a shelf because our shelves have seashells and plants on them except one shelf that has a wireless router on it.  But I do not think we have any metal statues on our shelfs.  At least not on the shelfs that I am tall enough to see.  I do not like shelfs.  I do not even like benches because they are like shelfs for people.  If I could turn people into metal I could get rid of this nickel.  I will have to learn that for next year because that would be a good April Fools Day joke to play on some bus drivers. 

Quick, LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW!

THERE IS A BEAR IN YOUR FRONT YARD!?!?!\

April Fools.

ROFLLOLLOLROFL!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!

But this joke pales in comparison to one of the funniest April Fools Day jokes ever.

Dumb hippies supporting Obama like they were on the same team as evidenced by this photo of the local illegal drug accessory store and their huge Obama sign at the edge of their property.

Here is a close up of part of the above photo because it is pretty funny by itself.

And then for an even funnier joke, go to youtube and search Obama marijuana and see how funny it is you dumb potheads voted him into office because you thought he supported your dumb hobby.

ZZZZZzzzzzzziiiiiinnnnnnnggggggg.

zingzingzingzing. zing

cry hippies.