Speaking of cranes.

There was a video of a pelican getting repeatedly splashed be waves here but youtube took it away because the ramones were playing in the background.

Speaking of cranes.
There is no way of knowing what this birds name is so I am just going to say it is Ralph the Pelican.  I think all birds should have the names of landlords on Threes Company.  Ralph gets punched by a wave.  I would have punched this heron but the stupid harness limits my picking of fights with this bird.  Herons are sissys.  They are real big but if I bark and run at them they fly onto roofs and squack at me.  One of these days I will see a heron and there will be no roof to jump on to and I will eat it. 

Eat it to Death.

How important is a level floor to you?

I used to live in a drafty shack on the beach.  The floor in that was high in some spots and low in some spots.  That is not what I am talking about.  I mean that the floor would be flat but off a few degrees.  I have asked a lot of people this question in the past few days and every one said it would bother them.  I can not believe that no one said “bother, NO, I would prefer to have a home that was tilted a few degrees.”  Because that is exactly how I feel.  First off what are the advantages.  All round toys like the Superball would be easy to find.  All spills would go to a easily predictable location for easier cleanup.  You could even have a drain at the low end and a water source at the high end.  Run it once a day and have the cleanest floor ever effortlessly.  Now what about the disadvantages.  None except for if you set your pencil on your desk it will fall of and you have to pick it up.  But if you own a pencil and are not in third grade you should really consider joining the rest of us in 2009.  And if you own a pencil you are probably a fatso and need the exercise of picking it up off the ground every time you need it.  And if you own a pencil you are a jerk and pencils are stupid.  I hate pencils.  

I bring this up because I live in a non drafty house with level floors in a little neighborhood on the beach now.  It is just not as fun as a drafty bumpy floored house.  So I am thinking about other housing options.  I saw some buildings made out of old shipping containers on the internet.  I like this idea.  Take like six or seven of them and make a shape and then finish the inside and paint the outside black with a big goldleaf princess sparkle mup and crossbones logo* on the front and a door that shoots poison darts if cats or kids come in the yard.  You know, like in the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark.  

That would be an awesome place to live.  The only thing that would make it more perfect is if the floor is a few degrees off level.  I wonder if they make a construction hat with that fits without squishing my ears?

Home Sweet Home.

These are cranes.

Speaking of cranes, I had some allergy or something and they told me to take a medicine.  I would like to let you know that a third of a Benydryl takes my love of leaning on soft things to a whole new level.

Grrrr.

I thought I had two ears.

They showed the 4 toed statue on Lost.

Finally, and I am kind of disappointed.  I think it is of Joe Dirt.  Why would Lost have a statue of Joe Dirt?  I wanted it to be of Sam the Eagle, the mean looking Muppet.  Either way I for one think it is pretty messed up that it is wearing such a short skirt.

Why is there no subburgers?

They would be awesome.  They could be 12 inches long.  You can eat them sideways.  This opens up the topping selection to more liquidy or smaller things because of the extra bread edge.  I could top a subburger with salsa or olives or wing sauce or sliced jalapenos.  It is like a pocket for deliciousness.  Or if you were a traditionalist you could still eat your subburger the up and down way.  There is no flaw in the subburger.  Get on it Subway.

Inside voices are for jerks.

I watch the Hows Your News show.  Why is this on TV?  I am not sure if it is right that I laugh at it but I do.  The hero is Bobby Bird.  He yells at everything and I laugh and laugh.  If it was just his show it would maybe be my favorite show.  The guy that is afraid of everything is mildly amusing so I guess he could be Bobby Birds sidekick.  The lady is the worst.  I would like to punch her in the uvula. 

What a world we live in where a chihuahua can critique the entertainment value of various retarded people.  God bless the internet.

I hope Godsmack never puts out another album

I saw these two birds on the same post watching the sunset today.  I thought it was cute until I got closer.  One was asking if the other thought the band Godsmack would ever put out another album.  I hate these birds.

 

Next, bulletproof.

I spent all morning trying to teach Kim’s bird, Stanley, how to be a superhero.  I figured since he can already fly half the work is done.  So far the only other superpower he seems to have is to go nuts when ever we hold a picture of him up to his cage.  I am trying to determine if this is because he recognizes himself and is concerned about the moral repercussions of cloning, or if he is worried we are going to paint a red S on his chest and that will mess up how his feathers sit or he probably just thinks it is another bird that wants to eat his seeds. 

If you golf you are dumb

This is a golfer I saw on TV.  He is too dumb to use his hat and sunblock together as a team so now his head looks like a bobber on the news.  If you are a golfer you are his peer.  But he is better than you.  Sooooo if you are a golfer you are worse than dumb.  

Unless this man has some horrible disease that makes the top of his head much whiter than the bottom.  

In that case, I apologize.