Inside voices are for jerks.

I watch the Hows Your News show.  Why is this on TV?  I am not sure if it is right that I laugh at it but I do.  The hero is Bobby Bird.  He yells at everything and I laugh and laugh.  If it was just his show it would maybe be my favorite show.  The guy that is afraid of everything is mildly amusing so I guess he could be Bobby Birds sidekick.  The lady is the worst.  I would like to punch her in the uvula. 

What a world we live in where a chihuahua can critique the entertainment value of various retarded people.  God bless the internet.

I hope Godsmack never puts out another album

I saw these two birds on the same post watching the sunset today.  I thought it was cute until I got closer.  One was asking if the other thought the band Godsmack would ever put out another album.  I hate these birds.

 

Next, bulletproof.

I spent all morning trying to teach Kim’s bird, Stanley, how to be a superhero.  I figured since he can already fly half the work is done.  So far the only other superpower he seems to have is to go nuts when ever we hold a picture of him up to his cage.  I am trying to determine if this is because he recognizes himself and is concerned about the moral repercussions of cloning, or if he is worried we are going to paint a red S on his chest and that will mess up how his feathers sit or he probably just thinks it is another bird that wants to eat his seeds. 

If you golf you are dumb

This is a golfer I saw on TV.  He is too dumb to use his hat and sunblock together as a team so now his head looks like a bobber on the news.  If you are a golfer you are his peer.  But he is better than you.  Sooooo if you are a golfer you are worse than dumb.  

Unless this man has some horrible disease that makes the top of his head much whiter than the bottom.  

In that case, I apologize.

Drawbridges.

Today I was stopped at the drawbridge waiting for some boat to drive under.  There was an ambulance also stopped waiting for the bridge to close so we could drive over it.  The ambulance’s lights were flashing.  It was headed towards the beach so it was going to save someone as there is no hospital on the beach for it to be taking someone to.  

How screwed up is that.  Someone might be dead now because the ambulance could not get to them on time because some jerk wanted to have his yacht home for lunch.  

No one with a working boat in that water has a big mast.  Fishing boats can go under that bridge without it opening.  Small fast fun boats with kids in them can go under with no problem.   The only boats that need it opened are for old insecure men who wear pink polo shirts and refer to themselves as captain when on their private boat and no one else does.  Why on earth does the local government not cut the cost of the drawbridge out and make the jerks install retractable masts if they want to go under the bridge?  I know why.  Because that would make sense.  Then no motorcycles let alone emergency vehicles would have to wait for the boats to pass.

Look at the size of that gear that opens the bridge.  It has to be at least 30 Princess Sparkles high.  If we sold that gear the community could afford a dunk tank like at a carnival except it would be for dunking cats. 

So from all this we lear that people who have yachts are murderers and people who have fishing boats are awesome because I like to eat fish.  And cats suck.

2nd draft coaster preview

This one is almost done.  With AWCL in the right ear made of metal for rusting purposes.  More details to come.

Pic Unrelated

http://www.baynews9.com/content/89/2009/2/27/442561.html?title=Calif.+aquarium+blames+flooding+on+curious+octopus

I am not sure what gregarious means but I like octopuses.  This one is especially rad.  Speaking of octopuses, I hope the 8 baby lady with 14 kids gets hit in her ugly face with a bus. 

A bus made out of jagger bushes.

I gave up.

I gave up and just got a new Ipod touch today.  Everyone else should be happy because this greatly increases the chances that they will come out with a new one tomorrow that takes pictures and goes to space.  The upside of having the new ipod is Jeff stares at it more and his phone less.  We had been using Kim’s Ipod for a while and there is nothing to look at on it.  The upside of looking at the phone so much lately is we found out it has gps.  The downside of finding out it has a gps was finding out that I am so slow on my walks the gps will not record my speed.  I thought I was going to break a chihuahua land speed record and brag.  Turns out I am pretty slow day to day.  I am going to go to the beach where I can get up a full head of steam and see if I can get a better result.  Otherwise I am going to have to build one of those rocket cars Evel Knievel, God rest his soul, used to jump Snake River Canyon.  I hope the beach works out because we all know how that rocket car thing turned out.

I do not like tricks

Pretend you just saw a video of me fighting a dinosaur puppet and then the puppet ends up on my head.

I fall for the old treat in the puppet then when you get the treat the puppet sticks on your heat a little bit and then if you freeze the video I look like some kind of half dog half dinosaur type thing every time.

I caught a sand collection ruiner in the act.

How is my inside beach for when it is cold ever going to get finished.  I am also mad about how much the stupid cat sheds on the future location of my inside beach.  That is gross.