This year was exhausting.

The Mayor in Animal Crossing says it is New Years Eve.  

This Year my New Years resolution is to invent a flying car.  Jeff’s is to fly that flying car into a telephone pole.  

The cat’s is to continue sucking.  

Happy new year jerks.

Pic Unrelated

I think there is a thing called sprouts.  I have never seen them but I think one of the Fat Boys ate them to lose weight in the hilarious film, The Disorderlies.  

Friends=friends, Bromance=want to see each other naked. You can not fool me.

I was watching Made because watching those sissys makes me feel tougher.  Here is the problem.  It ended and the show Bromance came on and I quickly turned the channel but it was too late, my belt had already tuned rainbow colors.  

Call being friends being friends.  Or you are a gay. 

Few things in life are more important than a nice tan.

Naps are one of them.

Tony Danza is awesome.

I read in Donald Trumps book that he made his first million having individual window air conditioners instead of central air.  I hate central air.  I would like all my rooms to be different temperatures.  Everyone knows a kitchen should be 76 degrees and a Bedroom should be 82 degrees and a Nintendo room should be 81 degrees for sit down games and 79 degrees for swinging around games.  Not with this central air crap.  I get 78 across the board.  It just not right.

In other heating and cooling news.  I am pretty upset that Alannis Morisette wrote a record about Dave Coulier.  

You know where you find a picture of Dave Coulier?  

The black and white one came from www.canada.com 

Of course.

I will never forgive Alannis Morisette until she writes two albums about Tony Danza.  Tony Danza is awesome.

Happy B-day Jesus.

I got you a novelty over the hill hat because you are old.  Since you were not at the beach or 7-11 I had to photoshop up this artist rendition of you in the hat.  Where does your family and friends get like 2000 candles?

This is the year I kill Santa

Home invader Santa will be invading homes tonight and once again I am ready.  As you can see I am a very good actress.  I pretend I am sleeping as above until he sneaks in then BLAM shotgun blast to the face.  His beard is bullet proof so I have to be very accurate and make sure some of the blast goes up his nose, his only vulnerable spot.  Like the hole in the Death Star that leads right to the fragile exploding part.  I repeat.  If I see anyone kissing Santa Clause there will be problems. 

I AM THREE

I am three.  IAMTHREE IAMTHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I know what you are thinking.  And I have heard a a lot of people answer this question differently, but I do feel different.  At 12:01 I swear to God I felt a little taller.  Go figure.  

Anyhow I am three.  That is 21 in dog years.  

On a side note, Jeff and I believe there is no better smell in this world than a freshly cut lime. 

I AM THREE. 

Christmas is not safe.

This thing is supposed to be like bubble wrap that lasts forever.  You can just keep popping it.  I am not much for reading but I looked over this device’s paperwork for safety reasons.  I think there is more at work here than infinite bubble wrap.  If I stand on it it may cause serious injury apparently.  Kids are not going to read this paper and of course everyone stands on their keychains at some point.  What a sad holiday season it will be when so many people get seriously injured by this device.

And speaking of holiday seasons, I already have spies on various neighborhood roofs watching for that home intruder Santa.  This year I will catch him.

Birds sit on posts.

That is the good news.  The bad news is that no matter how much they sit there the Nintendo DS game called America’s Top Model is the worst game ever invented.