I think my bed is haunted.

I did not sleep so good once in a while.  I have some theories as to what is wrong.  

1. 1.Kim using the snoozer alarm is disrupting my sleep patterns.  
2. 2.Allergies?
3. 3.Haunted bed.

I think 3 is most plausible.  

The guy at the bed store was very pushy about getting some waterproofing spray added to the bed for only fifty dollars.  We declined again and again until we told the salesman that if he said waterproofing one more time we would be leaving.

Salesmen are soooooooo stupid.  If he had sold it as waterproofing/ghost repellant we would have gladly purchased it for twice the price.  And then I would be able to sleep better.

This guy buys hot tubs.

He lets you know by putting homemade signs in front of gas stations.  What does he do with them?  Is there a big market for used hot tubs?  Not sanitary.  That is weird and that is gross.

In other gross news Oprah admitted she is fat.  Stop the presses.

Also I updated the pizza building page.

This guy wants Dodge boys and Chevy boys to bite him for some reason.

I am going to go get all Jeff’s American Apparel t-shirts and write “Hanes sucks” on one shoulder and “Screw you Fruit of the Loom” on the other shoulder.  The most amazing part of this story is that this is not the most silly car decoration we saw today.

Antlers.  They put them there intentionally.

The moon? In the daytime?

Today was like somedays when I can see the moon in the daytime.  It confuses me because I do not think this is appropriate.  Since there is no way of finding out why this happens, I like to rely on my personal theory that this happens on days when God forgets to take his pills.

 

Princess Sparkle can be found easily.

I looked up Princess Sparkle and it is listed 2nd on a Yahoo search and 3rd on a Google search.  I remember some company Jeff used to work for paid a lot of money every month for website optimization to raise their listing in search engines.  We would giggle at them privately because they could never get on the first page.  I have not paid anyone and I, seemingly by accident am in the top 2 and top 3.  So today I learned that what comes out of my brain is already optimized.  That is a good feeling.

Soreness

In our video game today called Age of Empires, Mythologies we helped direct some greek soldiers through the gates of hell to fight some monsters and save the world.  

On a somewhat related note, after lots of use, Jeff has become immune to Icy Hot and Flexall.  So we tried Tiger Balm today.  

This helped us relate to the soldiers in the video game because I imagine the gates of hell must smell similar to the smell of Tiger Balm.  

Come on.  You can not put some mint or citrus or something smell in there?  Work with me here Tiger Balm.

grrrr.

Today I was still mad about that hump John Travolta voicing Bolt.  Never has there been worse casting except maybe when they had that skinny dork play Darth Vader.  

On the bright side I saw the cat finally thinking about taking a shower after stinking for years.

I just saw Bolt.

Captain Ron is my favorite movie.  So this movie had a lot to live up to.  It was okay.  The action and story was awesome.  The one big flaw was Bolt’s voice.  John Travolta?  Come on.  That guy could never do a dog justice.  He is barely passable as a human.  Like 10 times Bolt said something and I should be enveloped in the story but all I can think is “that is not what Bolt should sound like.”  All I ask is that they redub all of bolts lines with either Martin Short’s or Kurt Russell’s voice.  Now that would be a movie.  Maybe two movies.  Do a G rated version with Martin Short and a PG-13 rated version with Kurt Russell where Bolt calls Penny’s agent a dick.

As is stands, this movie is worth the hour and a half if you are bored.  With my suggested modifications I really think it could win a gold medal at the next olympics not held in a communist country in the luge or biathlon events.

I had to put a lot of thought into today’s post.  Until now the only questionable language I have used is ass a few times and I think hell once.  After all the thought I decided I am almost three so I can say dick.

Kanye West Is a Hump.

He is a pretty cocky guy for someone that only got popular because he stole a Daft Punk hook.  On the bright side those really big SweetTarts that come 4 in a pack are awesome.


http://www.youtube.com/user/sparkleisaid#p/u/4/mQSDrp26ouY

This guy.

That is a mannequin head in this weirdo’s car.  I bet he does not date much.